Monday, October 12, 2009
49th Day w/o you.
It pretty seems like getting over you is a super big hurdle for me. I have yet to get over it so have others. How i wish that we can go back to the past. I WANN YOU BACK BADLY!!! :'(
Paying respect to you yet there are still arguments and all going on. Witnessing close knitted relatives that i have fighting and disputing over the distribution of wealth and miscommunications, my heart is painfully bleeding! Thou the initial start of the argument wasn't over the distribution of wealth; it was all started by a miscommunication. Trying to get things clear but yet more oil was added to the fire. All i could was just to sit aside and watch helpless what's going on and going wrong within the family. I believe both granddad and grandma wouldn't wish for this to happen at all!!! Now that it has come to this stage, itz totally beyond salvage!!! No matter how hard we try and pull back the r/s, the scars will be there forever. The feeling totally sucks! I want back the past!! I want the 2 of you back!!! :'(
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Many many many things happened over the week! It kept me thinking all the while. Am i still of usefulness living on earth or am i just an excess wasting resources??? Considered as one of the darkest period of my life?? Pouring and pourings flow in non stop. I really feel like letting all the sufferings come to an end. Itz a total torture. Living in such a life of mine is completely worthless. Can i bade goodbye to one and all??? Incoming of never-ending problems and yet none solved. Sufferings in silence is the best i can do. Numbing myself from the real world, i feel cold.
Bade-ing is the last time.
Goodbye to one and all.
