Wednesday, September 30, 2009
I WANT YOU BADLY!!
Withdrawal symptoms.
I want you very very badly!!!
Unbearable pain!! :'(
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Still counting
1 mth 5 days; still counting.
Your departure is definitely a hard stab in my heart. Nothing beats you leaving us. Thou its said that your departure stops all ur sufferings but still, the pain in us is definitely unbearable.
Viewing blogs of cousins; realized something common. Everyone of us have yet to put it down. Thou it didn't really happened out of a sudden like hers but still, its rather shocking! You're a well-respected person to everyone of us.
Recalling back then when you were still around. Many found you troublesome as you were bed-ridden. Initial stage i got to agree it was. None of us have actually experience taking care; looking after an elderly lying on bed all the while with feeding by the nose. Nevertheless, we still took the effort to take good care of you. If not because of your initial hospitalization, i doubt our family would be bonded back tgt. (sounds bad but its true)
All i can say now is that we will all rmb you deep inside us. I believe by now you should've alr met up with her. Never would you be forgotten. I guess i still need lots and lots of time to really get over your departure. Itz definitely not an easy task! Not only for me, for the entire 60 members of the family i guess?
Love you always.
Rest In Peace.
Monday, September 28, 2009
_P
Should i say 1st oct is the day when sufferings really come to an end?? NO!!
Undergoing -- soon. Thinking in a very pessimistic way! Hope that it will be me to the other world! Can it ??
Never told anyone abt --. Guess you're the only one that know? It also means that you're undergoing torture again because of me! I'm just a passer-by in ur life! Do i really mean that much to you??!!
I'm the baddie yet again. Seems like every single time i'm! I WANN TO STOP THIS. It also means that i have to cruel. Can some1 teach me how to be really cruel???!! I seriously cant bear the pain of departure once again!! If it happens, i can tell you truthfully that LIFE'S MEANINGLESS!! 100% MEANINGLESS!!
Confused state of mind.
Clarity level - 0%
Goodbye World!!
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Useless!!!
I guess u may be reading this post but still i shall continue with it.
Seriously i think i'm useless to the core!!
1st - when things happened, i cant seems to stop it?
2nd - upon hearing that you're sick, all i could was to freak out. Couldn't/Wasn't even by ur side! :(
3rd - from head to toe full of nonsense; dunno when the nonsense will end and every time i disturbed u with it :(
4th - you wanted me to tell you things and i blindly told you. Ended up u're undergoing the same pain as me.
All i can say is that i'm bringing sufferings and torture to you BUT happiness! :(
Chancing upon me in ur life seems to be a bad thing.??
Intend to really be cruel for once BUT i cant bring myself to do that.
I cant bear to part with you! and yet all i can feel is that i'm bringing you sufferings and more sufferings. :'(
Life really sucks to core! Numb-ed alr but still the feeling sucks!!
Goodbye people!
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Get Lost!!
The moment you were back, my life is totally screwed! The sight of you irk me! Happenings and happenings. Your guts got bigger. With soo many people around in the house, yet things stil can happened!! It seems like you're not afraid of going back in again. That place can be ur home for the eternal life! On bail but yet u still dare do that; you never fear death! Your doings caused me sleepless nights! Can you please get lost and get out of the house??!! It seriously a total torture!!! :'(
----
Life really sucks!! Slept for few hours over 3 days that makes me real tired ytd that i slept. Was in deep sleep as i was real shagged. With so many people around me, yet things still could happen??!! How the hell did you do it?!!! All i can say is that with you around, i'm bound to have sleepless nights till the day you leave! Even with D around, you still managed it. Speechless. Motionless. Numb. IT TRULY SUCKS!!
sorry one and all!!
GOODBYE PEEPS!!
Sincere Apology
Sorry for wad happened ytd night. I was nearly on the verge of breaking down. Things piling on me ever since months back. Shouldering everything is really tired. Sometimes i'm just too muffled of the outcome. I'M REALLY SORRY FOR MAKING YOU CRY!! I DIDN'T MEAN TOO. Due to my impulse, i said things that shouldn't be said. I take it back.
SORRY!!!!
(L)Dearest!
Friday, September 25, 2009
Wonders ;s
I dunno if you'll be reading this post due to exam preparations. All i can say is 'I'M SORRY!!!'
Date known. I cant bring myself to tell you anything during this period of time. Is crucial for you to strive for the next aim! Letting u know will definitely affect you alot i guess?? Plus itz somewhere in the midst of ur preparation! So im not going to utter a single word out! By 14 oct, everything most likely will be back to normal i guess??
Humiliation is a total torture! 5 mths!! How am i going to survive?!!!
I guess i shall say bye bye to the world soon.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Speechless.
After so many years, tot that the sufferings would have alr ended but it seems to be wrong! The sight of him brought back all the nasty things! Having to survive thru a week or maybe even more seeing him around totally makes me puke!!! No sleep for the past few days!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Going bonkers real soon!! Ytd night was total nightmare and it really sucks!!!
Can i leave??!!
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Happy Birthday!!
Ms Joanne Wong!! Happy Birthday to you!! :) Hope u like the small little surprise on friday!! May all your wishes come true!! All the best!! :)
Monday, September 14, 2009
In remembrance!
Thou he's gone for 3 weeks alr but still, i find it rather hard to put it down. Live and death is part and parcel of life. We cant stop things from happening. All we can do is just keep them deep down in our hearts. His departure maybe abrupt and sudden but i guess itz good for him. I know this sounds bad but at least his sufferings all come to an end! He's able to be with her again after 4 years of sufferings that no one could understand! I guess i really need time to get over this!! Seriously itz hard! :S
Granddad, rest in peace. Im sure you're with grandma alr. We miss you both!!!! :'(
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Pissed!!!!!
I LOST MY PHONE!!! AHHHH!!! ONLY 3 MTHS OLD!! :'( haiz. making police report ltr. hope it can be trace back. =(
Friday, September 4, 2009
=(
One week passed but still there the after effect of it affecting me pretty much! Now that he's gone, things are starting to get wild! Allocated share yet due to greediness, it still happened!! I HATE IT!! All thanks to that!, i find my life rather meaningless and useless!! Since u love it so much, u can have it! Am always told life is precious! BUT have to witness all the happenings around, i juz think that it totally sucks! That's all that i can say. No in the mood to post. Bye!
Labels: it sucks totally
